


You're All Going To Hell

by Kissed_by_Circe



Series: Some Things Blossom In The Dark [6]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mountains, but not like you thing ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 04:17:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22005064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissed_by_Circe/pseuds/Kissed_by_Circe
Summary: Christmas, a huge house in the mountains, a big family, and not one, but two fake relationships – what could possibly go wrong? A pretend-relationship-fic with a twist 😉
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Jon Snow & Arya Stark, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, Sansa Stark & Gendry Waters
Series: Some Things Blossom In The Dark [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1134512
Comments: 19
Kudos: 116





	You're All Going To Hell

**🎀 Sansa 🎀**

„You know how your grandfather is, and after the debacle with Petyr you should understand it.” Cat tries to sound cheery, as she always does when they talk about Christmas and the ensuing family trip to the Oldstone Hills, and Sansa tries not to sigh in front of her. Christmas seems so far away here in King’s Landing, with people walking around in light jackets and thin sweaters, and not even all the decorations in the streets can give her a Christmas feeling – it’s just too warm down here, the holidays too commercialised, and none of the things she’s used to around, no markets and no mulled wine and no snow.

“You know Gendry, you like him, and he won’t cause any drama – he doesn’t want to celebrate with his so-called family because he wants some peace and quiet and it’d be perfect if he could come with us.” She’s close to pouting now, and Cat sighs. “If it was my decision, I’d invite him immediately, but you know how Grandpa Hoster is, and it’s his chalet and his rules. Only family and partners.” Gendry walks through their living room, waving at the tablet, Cat smiles at him, and Sansa has her best (and worst) idea yet. “Well, we didn’t want to tell you until we saw you, but, um, we’re dating.” She grins into the tablet camera, Cat squeals, and her roommate mouths a very, very bad word at her.

**❄️ Jon ❄️**

“I still can’t believe that we have to pretend like we’re dating just so that I can spend the holidays with you.” Jon shakes his head – _again_ – and hopes that it won’t be too bad. If they didn’t have to put up this farce it would’ve been a lot easier, just a girl inventing her best (and male) friend to celebrate Christmas with her family at her grandfather’s chalet in the Riverlands because he doesn’t want to spend the holidays with his own family, and nothing more, but now he’s faced with the possibility of all of her relatives threatening him the way he’s seen in the movies, and having to share a room and maybe a bed with her and having to pretend like they’re a couple when he sees her like an annoying little sister and nothing more. He shudders at the prospect of having to kiss her to keep the ruse up.

It feels like incest just thinking about it. Arya keeps looking at her phone, oblivious to his problems, and only looks up when the train from King’s Landing comes in. “That should be Sansa’s,” she informs him, and starts walking along the tracks, looking out for her sister. He follows her. Doors open, and he helps a man with a stroller and then a young woman with a suitcase and a big bag and a hat box. Her heel catches on the steps of the train, she stumbles and he catches her. “Thank you,” she breathes, looking up at him with snowflakes landing in her copper hair and her hand on his arm. She smiles, and his heart melts. “You found her!” Arya yells behind him, and he realises that this must be Sansa.

_Fuck_.

**🌟 Gendry 🌟**

Sansa’s ordered a bigger cab, but it’s still quite crammed with her suitcases and bags and hatboxes – ‘ _I have exactly_ _36_ _presents in there, so yes, I do need all this_ ’ – as well as three duffel and four passenger bags, and her sister is pressed against his side looking like she’s about to die. “Psst.” He doesn’t realize it’s her at first, her voice a quiet whisper as the cab crawls up the mountain side slowly, the engine roaring as it forces itself through the snow and up the serpentines, and she has to hiss again before he looks down at her. “There’s a flask in the outer pocket of my bag, but I can’t reach it. Could you…?” He nods, and frees his arm enough to reach the bag. Jon, who sits on Arya’s other side doesn’t notice – he’s busy talking to Sansa – and he opens the flask and gives it to her.

She takes a sip and grimaces. “What’s in there? Vodka?” he asks, both curious and trying to start a conversation. They’ll spend a week up there in the mountains, and he’s afraid of feeling like an outsider, so making friends with Sansa’s younger relatives might be a good idea. “Black coffee.” He raises his eyebrows, and she explains, “helps you concentrate, and I’ll have to if I want to survive that part of the family.” That’s very calming. “Can I–?” She nods, and he takes a sip, suppressing a cough. Hopefully the holidays won’t be as bad as the taste in his mouth.

**🎄 Arya 🎄**

“What the fuck was in that flask? Were you trying to poison him?” Sansa hisses at her, and Arya shrugs as casually as she can. “Cold coffee with lemon juice. You know how my headaches get when I have to spend time with all these people.” Her sister nods at that, her face full of compassion as she points at several pieces of her luggage. “Earplugs, pain killers, Xanax, pepper spray… and I guess you’ve brought some alcohol?” “Had it sent here weeks ago, I’ve been building a stock up here just in case, and also the weed wouldn’t have fit in my bag otherwise. At least uncle Petyr’s not here this year.” “But auntie Shella is!” Sansa yells with cheer so fake that Arya can’t help but laugh, even if their aunt has a rather depressing aura about her. She has to get Jon away from her or they’ll morph together and become a monster of broody darkness.

“Auntie Shella, hi, it’s so good to see you, _love_ that black dress, I’m so sorry we can’t talk right now, my boyfriend has to bring my bags upstairs, _dear_ , all of them, yes that too – “ She heaps bags and suitcases into his arms, her own and a few of Sansa’s just to make sure that he can’t talk to poor old Shella, and shoves him in the direction of the cottage while waving at the old woman. She’ll talk to her later, but she doesn’t want Jon to spend to much time with her.

**❄️ Jon ❄️**

The house is huge, but he guesses that he should’ve expected that since Arya told him that with her whole family and guests there’ll be more than 20 people staying at her grandfather’s mountain retreat _manor_. He doesn’t see much on his way through the house and up the stairs, with all the bags and suitcases piled up in his arms, but Arya greets three women coming down the hallway in uniforms, housekeepers that will return for cleaning between the holidays, and she told him that there are more than a dozen bedrooms and four storeys, and he thinks again about just how rich grandfather Hoster must be if he has a holiday house like this.

But still, there aren’t enough bedrooms for everyone to have their own, and so he has to unload their luggage in the bedroom Arya and her sister will share, before he grabs his own stuff and moves down the hallway, getting ready to bunk with Gendry and Theon, but he’s stopped by Sansa. “Here – “ she presses a little box and a piece of paper into his hands, and he looks down on it in confusion. “Earplugs – Theon snores, and Gendry grinds his teeth – a list with all of our phone numbers and the WLAN password, and if you meet cousin Robin, pretend like you’re on your way to the sauna, he usually lets you go when you do.” “Or you could come rescue me.” “I might do that.” There’s a sparkle in her eye, and he’s pretty sure that that was borderline flirting, and he could kick himself. The one time he manages to say something cool to a girl, and it’s while he’s pretending to date her sister. This is going to be a long week.

**🎀 Sansa 🎀  
**

There’s nothing better than a ~~snowball fight~~ a snow battle. Everyone’s out in the snow, throwing snowballs and laughing and pushing each other and getting their clothes and hair wet and freezing their fingers off – and Sansa has the cosy lounge to herself. She has hot chocolate and a blanket, a good book and a dog’s head in her lap, and the cushioned window seat has a perfect view down the mountains at the city of Oldstones. It’s a piece of quiet in a house full of people, and she enjoys it, until the door opens. Setting her book down with a sigh, she gets ready to be attacked with a flood of words from an overexcited teenager or a melancholic aunt, but it’s Jon. Her sister’s silent shadow, dark and handsome, and she feels a bit disappointed. Arya has a sweet boyfriend, and she’s here with a fake one. He looks startled, as if he didn’t expect anybody to be here, and he mumbles an apology, but she stops him before he can disappear again, noticing the book under his arm.

“Are you searching for a quiet place to read? You can join me here, if you want, maybe I’ll even share the window seat.” “Oh, in that case I have to stay,” he answers with a grin, and she hates herself a bit, because this is _her sister’s boyfriend_. She shouldn’t talk to him like that, but he doesn’t seem to mind. “What are you reading?” she asks instead, trying to be nice, a friendly face in a house full of weird strangers, and his eyes light up. “ _Winter Is Coming_ by Manderly.” “If you spoil anything, I will have your head,” she tells him, and holds up the book in her lap. “I’m only on book three, and if you tell me that Ysabel dies, I’ll be _devastated_.” “I would never, and she can’t die because she _has_ to become the new queen, at least that’s my prediction.” She pats the cushion next to her, and beckons him over. “Tell me more, Jon Snow. Maybe you know something.”

**🎄 Arya 🎄**

“Are you hiding up here?” she asks, and grins when Gendry’s head emerges from the nest he’s made in the bed she shares with her sister – she recognises pillows, blankets, and Robb’s greyhound in the heap – his hair ruffled and his clothes rumpled. “I’m just taking care of Grey Wind, he’s stressed out by all the people down there.” “Sure thing.” The dog looks calm enough where he’s chilling with his long head on a stuffed animal that must belong to Sansa, but Gendry seems rather tired. “Too many people for you, too?” “A bit. I’m not used to parties like this,” he admits, and she nods. The whole first floor is filled with drunk people singing and debating and, in Theon’s case, pretending to set the roof on fire to the delight of Robb’s little boy.

“Yes, it can get overwhelming,” she admits with a smile and a shrug. “I usually sneak out, or rather, up, after a couple hours, and before auntie Lysa reaches the bottom of the second Ramazzotti bottle, to watch a few movies – do you want some silence, or do you wanna watch with me?” “Depends on what you’re watching,” he says, but he’s already moving over to make some space on the bed, and she answers while pulling her laptop out of her rucksack. “ _Die Hard_.” “Good choice.” They smile at each other, and she goes to Netflix. “We just have to get the volume right – believe me, you don’t want to hear auntie Lysa’s version of popular Christmas songs.” “That bad?” “Worse than you could imagine. I can’t believe Sans didn’t warn you.” He smiles, and she thinks to herself that he has a cute smile, and when she goes to sleep a few hours later, her sheets smell of him. It’s a nice smell, and she hates herself for thinking that.

**🌟 Gendry 🌟**

“I think we have a problem.” They’ve somehow managed to get a moment alone together, between the ski trip he and a few of the other will go on this afternoon, and a little party with karaoke and video games and pizza the younger generation will have this evening while the older ones go to some dinner party at some old friend’s of Catelyn’s, and he’s not sure what everyone else thinks they’re doing in her bedroom with the door shut and some music playing suspiciously loudly. “Jon probably suspects something, because I’ve been… flirting with him… a little…” “I almost kissed Arya, so we’re both fucked.” She laughs, a hard, short laugh, and throws her head back. “This is the worst Christmas ever. The first guy I like in a romantic way is my sister’s boyfriend, and you’re falling for her.” “What am I supposed to do? Your sister is exactly my type. You should’ve set us up, but she has a boyfriend.”

Someone knocks on the door, and Sansa sighs. “How am I supposed to spend an entire afternoon with him and his hair and his glasses and everything, while Arya is skiing? I’m thinking horrible things all the time, I’m the worst sister ever – “ “You’re not. Maybe you should talk to Arry, see if it’s something serious or just a casual friends-with-benefits thing…” She just rolls her eyes at him, and he shrugs.

**🎀 Sansa 🎀  
**

Arya sits in front of the vanity, applying a bit of mascara, and she doesn’t look up when Sansa comes out of the bathroom, but she asks her if she can help her with her hair, and she thinks that this is what she always wanted as a child and teenager. A good relationship with her sister, getting ready for parties together and giggling and gossiping. “You’re the best sister anyone could hope for,” Arya murmurs while Sansa twists her short hair into braids and pins them up. Her own hair is perfectly waved and shiny, and they look good in the mirror, Arya dark and lean, Sansa tall and fair, with contrasting dresses in black and white. “I’m not,” she mumbles, not looking at her sister, and concentrates on pining a plait in place.

“Can we talk about Jon?” Arya looks surprised, but nods, and Sansa draws a deep breath. “He’s been flirting with me.” Now it’s out in the open, and Sansa is both ready to repent, and to help her sister get revenge on him, the way she helped her back with Harry when he cheated on her. Jon didn’t kiss her or anything, but he flirted with her and not in a casual way, but like he’s really interested in her, and Arya doesn’t deserve this. “ _Oh_. Okay. I’ll tell him to stop bothering you, and I hope Gendry’s not too jealous.” “That’s- that’s not what I meant. He’s your _boyfriend_ , he shouldn’t be flirting with anybody that way, he should be loyal to you – “ “Um, okay. We didn’t want to tell anybody to make it easier, but, um, Jon and I are – “

“Oh gods no, you’re _pregnant_ , that’s why you’re acting so weirdly around each other and why you’re with him.” “What the fuck, _no_ , I’m not pregnant, I would’ve told you or I would’ve gotten an abortion.” Partially relieved, Sansa falls back on their bed, only to raise her head when Arya continues. “We’re pretending to be a couple so that he can Christmas with us instead of his relatives. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his father, and his uncle is worse than auntie Lysa, so I lied to Mama and to Grandpa Hoster so that he could come here with us – “ “Wait, wait, _wait_. Gendry and I did that, too, his stepmother is horrible and Grandpa Hoster’s rules are so strict...” They look at each other and burst into laughter at the same time.

**Theon**

He stumbles out of the third-floor bathroom and makes the sign of the seven-pointed star, or rather, he tries to make the sign and fails miserably. “You’re all going to hell. You’re all going to hell. _Cat is going to kill you_.” He runs down the hallway, Arya and Gendry, both half naked and flushed, on his heels, and he doesn’t want to think about how much it’ll hurt if they tackle him, and stops in front of the girls’ bedroom, his hand on the door handle. “How could you do this to Sansa, she’s an angel – “ he starts, knowing fully well that Sansa is going to keep him safe from the two cheating bastards, and that someone’s going to have to keep them safe from _him_ , because _how_ _dare_ _they_ hurt sweet little Sansa like this –

He throws open the door, and almost falls on his face when Sansa screams and tries to cover herself, and the head of Jon, who seemed to be a shy history nerd, emerges from between her legs. “You’re all going to hell, you’re all going to hell, you’re all – “he keeps whispering, while people complain about the lack of locks in this mountain retreat cabin.


End file.
